Building a Life Base on (Harmonious) Passion

In the winter of 2015 I was PASSIONATE about my job.

I was rising quickly in one of the fastest growing fitness brands in the world.

I bragged about how fast I’d climbed through the promotion ladder, going from brand new trainer to running my own team in under 3 years.

I lived and breathed for that team! That brand! That lifestyle!

I was also:

• Answering emails on my day off

• Waking up and checking my phone at 2a

• Coming home late and breaking promises to my partner

• Skipping my workouts and self care so I could “get the work done”

I thought that passion was always good. I couldn’t see then that I was living a toxic form of passion that was eating me alive.

As Jon Bon Jovi said:
“Nothing is as important as passion.
No matter what you do with your life, be passionate.”

But according to the research of Robert J. Vallerand, not all passion is positive.

Harmonious Passion aligns with our values and drives us to deliberate practice, positive performance outcomes, and higher well-being. In contrast, Obsessive Passion, wherein that we are passionate about overpowers our self-esteem and identity, causes us to overperform, stop when we want to, and leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and ultimately burnout.

Harmonious passion fills us up. Obsessive passion keeps us up at night.

Over the last two years we’ve had tectonic changes and there’s likely more to come. So many people have quit their jobs and rebooted their lives. I see lifestyle gurus pumping out advice to “follow your passion” and “act from alignment”. But passion has a dark side. It can pull us away from balance if we follow it blindly.

As the world continues to evolve and you reflect on where your passions might take you here are a few key (evidence-based) ideas to keep you balanced on the passionate path:

• Keep boundaries that protect you, your work, those you serve, and those you love

• Offer to the world what aligns with your values and not only what gets you likes

• Give yourself permission to let toxic relationships go

• Use grounding activities when you feel overwhelmed

• Practice what you preach (if you’re a lifestyle professional)

• Schedule joyful activities that have nothing to do with what you bill for

• Invest in a coach to help you tease out the hard parts